I’ve spent a lot
of time trying to decide what I was going to say when I came up here, and I ‘ll
start with this…I look completely ridiculous and I think my brother is loving
every minute of it.
My earliest
memory of Nic is right after he was born. I can’t guarantee this memory is
entirely accurate, but as accurate as a four year old can get. I was so excited
for my new baby brother or sister to be born, not because I was excited to meet
them, but because I knew that the night they were born I got to spend the night
at Aunt Laura’s and that always meant chocolate chip pancakes. We went to the
hospital and my daddy took me to meet my baby brother. And I cried and cried
and cried. Not tears of joy or excitement. Tears of knowing that the blue
blanket meant a boy and I wanted a girl! I would later assure my mom that she
could take him back and exchange him for a girl…there were plenty of people who
wanted little boys! As we grew up, I’m glad my mom didn’t take the advice of her
four year old and exchange him. My brothers and I had our fair share of fights
growing up, but I could not have asked for better brothers.
I think Nic’s goal in life was to keep
everyone laughing – and he did it very well. My parents have taught us since we
were very young that everyone deserves to be loved, regardless of what other
people think of them or how different they are from us. Judging from the
stories I’ve heard over the past week, I think Nic truly embodied that. He is
his father’s child in that he never met a stranger. So here’s my challenge to
you. Many of you are trying to figure out how to honor Nic’s life. I’ll make it
simple for you: love everyone. Even those that are hard to love. Even those who
are different from you. Even those who you disagree with. Because that’s what
Nic did. And celebrate each other frequently. Don’t wait until a time like
this. Let people know how important they are in your life.
Many of you have
also asked what you can do for our family. Love us, but mostly love my parents.
Come visit them. Remind them that they are not alone. Now, more for the sake of
us left here than for Nic, I want to read you something from the vision
statement of one of my favorite organizations, To Write Love on Her Arms. If
you’ve never heard of them, look them up when you get home.
The vision is that we actually
believe these things.
You
were created to love and beloved. You were meant to live life in relationship
with other people, to know and be known. You need to know that your story is
important and that you’re part of a bigger story. You need to know that your
life matters.
We live in a difficult world, a broken world.
Life is hard for most people most of the time. We believe that everyone can
relate to pain, that all of us live with questions, and all of us get stuck in
moments. You need to know that you’re not alone in the places you feel stuck.
We all wake to the human condition. We wake to
the mystery and beauty, but also to tradgedy and loss. Millions of homes are
filled with questions – moments and seasons and cycles that come as thieves and
aim to stay. We know that pain is very real, but it is our privilege to suggest
that hope is just as real.
You need to know that freedom is possible and
that God is still in the business of redemption. We want to say that it’s worth
it, your life is worth fighting for.
We believe that community is essential, that
people need other people, that we were never meant to do life alone.
The vision is that community and hope and help
would replace secrets and silence.
The vision is that we would learn what it
means to love our friends and that we would learn to love ourselves.
The vision is better endings. The vision is
the possibility that your best days are ahead. The vision is that we’re more
loved than we’ll ever know. The vision is hope, and hope is real. You are not
alone and this is not the end of your story.
So thank you.
Every one of you that has come by our house and taken time to come here today.
Thank you for being our community, for reminding us that we are not alone and
for encouraging us to never give up. Thank you for helping us to make sure that
this is not the end of Nic’s story. And one final quote and I’ll sit down:
“Tell them to
look up. Tell them to remember the stars. The stars are always there but we
miss them in the dirt and clouds. We miss them in the storms. Tell them to
remember hope. We have hope.”
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